i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
