good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
