I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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