it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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