He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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