i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
