I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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