Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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