I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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