Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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