No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
