Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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