fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize