i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
