listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
