i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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