he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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