I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
