Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Sext me about skeletons
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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