I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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