So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
