I want to have your abortion
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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