she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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