wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
