Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
