Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
