Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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