oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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