All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
