I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
