I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
