Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
