His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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