Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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