woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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