I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
