**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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