the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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