Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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