then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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