the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
