Whod you bang
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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