i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
