I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
