There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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