When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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