he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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