How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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