oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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