I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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