Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
