Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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