is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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