I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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