Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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