I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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