OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
