i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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