What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
