i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it hurts more in the daytime
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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