it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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