My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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